I truly believe at some point running saved my life.
I've heard that there is a correlation between sports like running and avoiding personality. As if you're running away from the problems. Not sure I take it seriously. But I run.
My adventure with running started when I wanted to be a dancer. Makes perfect sense. At school I hated running. It made me feel blood in my throat. No one ever really taught us how to run. It was expected as something very natural for kids to do. Well not for me. For me reading a book in a corner was perfectly natural. As an older kid I was actually not bad when it came to endurance, since it was more of a mind game. Just push through the suffering. Isn't that what I was doing every day anyway? Then I wanted to be a dancer. I had these dreams and I thought I must get really fit. I wanted to be a professional. Why bother with doing anything as a hobby? No pressure. Especially for someone who was just starting and had no idea what it takes to become a dancer. Yes, I knew, but I didn't experience it. I knew I had to do some kind of endurance, fitness, aerobic training besides the dance classes. Swimming or dancing. I used to love swimming but it required much more logistical preparation. Running it is. Just leave the house and go.
I looked up some gradual training and went out for a trial. Just go and run 100 m as you find fit. It was a nightmare. My throat hurt, I thought I was gonna die or at least spit my lungs out. I'm pretty sure that would result in death as well. Ok then, let's start slow. The mentioned training was supposed to build up my running routine to 30 minutes non stop in maybe 2 months? It started with 5 minutes walking and 1 minute running. Repeat 5 times. Do it every second day for a week. Next week you walk 4 minutes, run 2. Something like that. Start very slowly. I was determined and soon I was running 30 minutes non stop.
That's how my romance with running began. I was running in snow, in the sun, at night, early in the morning. One day my body couldn't cope with my awesomeness and I had to get sick to rest. It was hard to get back. It's very easy to be overenthusiastic and put too much pressure on yourself. Body needs time to adapt if you want to make it a consistent part of your life. No need to rush. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more likely you fail. Or your body will.
I was running in waves, depending on the circumstances in my life. I couldn't always force myself. Yes, it wasn't always a pleasure, sometimes the happy hormones was kicking in very late. The first 15 minutes were a nightmare. But I was fighting through my weakness, letting the warrior spirit take over and express the feelings that couldn't find the way otherwise. It was my moment of freedom, when only I and the road existed. People find this feeling in many different ways. It was my escape in the hardest times, it was making me feel strong and invincible.
There is much more to running then putting one leg after another. It's all in your head. It's almost spiritual, or at least it can be. You definitely enter a trance state at some point.
I don't remember how exactly it happened. I think I was looking for a running partner. What an awful idea, I always run alone, uninterrupted. It might have been something else, but I met someone, we were talking about running and he said he's going to run a marathon and it was the last day to sign up. A little light lit in my head. Challenge accepted! I signed up, all shaking, just before midnight. Running a marathon was high on my bucket list and seemed like an ultimate challenge. Now I had something to train for. My competitive nature and a will to prove people wrong kicked in and I started training. In my head I also really wanted to take revenge on someone who hurt me badly and that fueled that will.
It seemed impossible for me but I knew I only had to do one thing - start running and not stop until the finish line. And this is what I did. I believed I was there to finish this marathon and nothing else mattered to me at that time. It was mostly a mental game. At the finish line I experienced one of the happiest moments of my life and I shed a tear. The next happiest moment happened the year after when I run a second marathon.
The third one was supposed to happen in London, unfortunately I wasn't granted the access. I did a Tough Mudder instead.
Today I'm slowly getting back in the routine, although cold days are not very encouraging. I've been working out throughout the year but It was nothing comparing to the joy and torture of running.
Stay tuned for some more story time for me. If you'd like to know more about me and hear me talking about running and other adventures, check out my youtube channel, I shall see you there.
Until next time