As I've mentioned before, I'm a night creature. I always seemed more productive in the evenings and as the night unfolds, I would get to the peak of my creativity. I could only regret not being up and ready for the sunrise, although sometimes i would stay up till then and go asleep, exhausted, right after. I am yet to find my perfect sleep pattern. I know your body is supposed to rest at certain hours - it's not just the question of how long you sleep for. I have experienced it before, so I can tell it's true - living a night life makes you permanently tired. I have tried, in the past and found out that actually I am able to get up at very early hours and jump out of bed with enthusiasm. I like the stillness of early mornings, before the world wakes up to rush to work. For a long time in my life I had the privilege of not having to join it. I would just sleep through the morning. There is a few issues with this kind of lifestyle. Waking up late makes me start my day with "oh, shit!" instead of a blissful feeling of gratitude. I am already late everywhere, I miss opportunities and if I had to do something grown-up like going to the bank -well, I might as well do it some other time. Living like this in the winter means I hardly see any sun. Even for a vampire like me it can be depressing. For years I had a lot of trouble readjusting. When I said I could wake up before dawn, I didn't mention there was a price to pay. At some point during the day I would just crash and go back to bed. That would lead to another late night and so on and so on. If I forced my way through it, I was not able to be creative in any way, just moving through the mud of reality like a zombie. If somehow I managed to sleep really early, like a decent person, I would wake up in 2, 3 hours and find myself unable to go back to bed. Just couldn't win. In the last couple of weeks I was missing the entire days.
It got really crazy. I even got to the point when I was living more in a 12 hours cycle, where I would sleep for a couple of hours twice a day. I was permanently exhausted - a state that has become in a way a part of my life. I don't remember when was the last time I slept well. It overlaps with other issues - in the end you don't know what was first. It is important for me to find a way to get good sleep. I am planning to live long and healthy and have many projects that need time to see the light of the day. Quite literally in this case.
I am currently implementing a new routine. That will obviously take some time, but I already see the difference. I can actually be quite creative in the early hours of the day, I think it's got something to do with my sensitivity to sound. I feel sounds. Some have very negative association - like my neighbour who's questionable musical skills are ruining my days and unleashing a raging beast within me. It would be very hard to convince him to stop, otherwise he might have to call an exorcist. I have an enormous need of silence. Although a Sun sign, I find myself in tune with intuitive energies of the night. Whatever might be the meaning of this.
Rebellious as I am, I can't deny the importance of sleep. I am determined to find a way to improve that part of my life and decide what works best for me, my lifestyle and my body. If you struggle, I would advice you to do the same. Listen to your body, experiment, adjust. The most powerful changes happen when our body rests. Also, our unconscious can speak directly to us, allowing dreams to take form. Sleep well...