I feel it's slowly coming to the point where all the overthinking will boil down to "why I haven't been doing this from the beginning"? Totally caught up in the details and all the possible, theoretical versions of me, personas I'd like to create. All this is good, but nothing was stopping me from doing the thing. And the thing can be anything. Any failure is better than not doing anything at all. Any time spent experimenting with things and producing crap is the part of the process.
I have to admit that my relationship with time wasn't the healthiest for a long time. I got absolutely terrified with the idea of it being so elusive and running out constantly. I could almost hear "tic -toc" in my ears, counting the seconds left till death. Why aren't you living the life you always wanted, why aren't you doing enough, why aren't you productive? All these thoughts were rather paralyzing. I wanted to make sure that every minute is well spent. This is a great attitude. Unless you become fixated on it and try to figure out your life plan in your head and be absolutely sure before making any decision. I can see that going neurotic quite easily. There is this thought about time - how we have to face it with less fear. Time is on our side. With time you get experience and make things happen. The important thing is to take action. Any action. If you follow your Will and not the will of other people, things will start moving forward in magical way. You will provoke the path to unveil in front of you.
I am visually sensitive. I know what looks good. It doesn't mean I have always enough experience or technical skill to make things happen the way I want. It's very frustrating when you have an idea and what you end up creating is so far off what you baked in your head. I often wondered - can you then say it was a true expression of you? - but I don't want to think about it anymore. I can become quite obsessed with certain aesthetics. I like things looking sharp and clean and being coherent. I love how some brands deal with it and I am guilty of falling for some trends. At the beginning I laugh them off. Then I slowly play with the idea until I really need to explore it. The funny thing is, once I admit it, I can't find it anymore, and the "feel" is very difficult to describe. It can be anything. A font, a tumbler, a backpack,a hipster coffee shop. These things I see EVERYWHERE until I get sick of them and I just really need to immerse myself in them.
Being aesthetically perfectionist I wanted the things to be perfect before they happen. I understood, however, that there is certain amount of garbage that just has to happen. I have to have freedom in what I'm sharing with you. After all, with action comes clarity. I know that most of all I just need to let myself do things and enjoy them.
I went for a long walk around Paris and fell in love again. Fete de la Musique. A summer day when Paris turns into one big gig. Variety of all sorts of music playing everywhere, really chilled and friendly atmosphere. I cruised the city in search of the shortest queue for ice cream and finally I found it. Part of being an adult is being allowed to eat ice cream at any time you want. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility when afterwards you remember that you're lactose sensitive. Zut alors! I also had the best noisette in a long time. I was getting all caffeinated-up for Paris by night photography hunt. I was getting excited to shoot some footage as well - and that's when I run out of storage on my phone. Oh no! I will have to trust my memory to preserve this beautiful night in the City of Lights. Here is some pictures I manage to take before my phone said ''nooo''.
Until next time,